Trish - Time Tales (-1)

FINDING SELF

Part 1

(^&~)
Hello,
Many ask who I am, and to that there is no straight answer. For I am a woman of varying abilities, experiences, and travels. I have been known for many things throughout my life, and I have played many "parts" along my journey of adventures in my life - some has been negative, and much more positive now. You see, my story is somewhat tragic as it was negatively ridden from the start. 
   To start my parents had largely negative issues before and during my mom's pregnancy (to say the least). I went through "Junior Rheumatic Arthritis" since about a year of age, and a broken leg around two years of age. I was the recipient of negative/ abusive treatment from family members for much of my childhood, and had to teach myself how to keep a level of Optimistic Life Perspectives (O.L.P.) for my mental and emotional strength/ survival. I had many trips to the hospital until about the age of puberty - 12ish, and have a lack of memory of much of my childhood - even now as an adult.  
   By about 15ish I had given up on parental/ family help, and started "raising" myself in regards to my "mental health". It turned out to be another aid/ tool for my self-improvement/ strengthening efforts. It was also around this time that my JRA went into a remission period of about 7 years. Just to be known, by the time I reached my early twenties, as "the girl who walks funny". These years brought a lot of pain to tolerate while I tried to work/ survive, make friends in a new province with no family members I know of, and find a new place to live. I had anxiety and high-stress levels throughout, and my previous experience of maintaining some level of optimistic life perspectives was needed once again. 
   By my late twenties I had my first son, left the dad over negatives, and entered single parenthood. I had very little help, but was greatful for the few friends that did. Shortly after I found myself in another relationship I fell into, and a crappy telemarketing job. Both of which encouraged a negative/ depressive mind-frame, and discouraged positivity or optimism. My first surgery was as I entered my thirties, my relationship was starting to turn negative from my "partner's" end of things, and I had very little help during my recovery. Once I recovered enough I moved to across the city, just to have my relationship continue to a very negative ending (worst in my history), and an ex stalking me through his friends.
   I was to "fly solo" once again as I went through my second surgery, and shortly after I re-located to a nearby city - it finally felt like a "fresh start" until stress, anxiety, and depression set in again like a wave washing ashore. It caused a lot of friction within myself, as I became a hermit over most of the spring and fall seasons and all of the winters for a few years. The rare times I went out, I encountered and became too infatuated over a cold-hearted one for too long - it became acceptable, comfortable, and even inviting. More stress, anxiety, and depression - I felt completely defeated, and I had to put an end to it.
(~*~)
More information:
History   +++   Introduction   +++   Welcome   +++   Part 2
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~ More links may come.
~ Otherwise, please look to my blogs or ask.
Thankz
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See ya out there!
Trish T. Dish9/ C.E.S. (*@^@*)
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